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Refugee advice. What to do if you can’t cope with everyday life and children abroad – psychologist

Many Ukrainian women were forced to leave their homes and go abroad in search of safety.

Forced relocation is a serious ordeal. The person did not plan and did not prepare in advance. The men remained in Ukraine, so the women themselves should be responsible for everything. Many internally displaced persons experience emotional and physical discomfort due to new conditions, a different language, culture, rules of life, etc. Uncertainty and uncertainty frighten and exacerbate the human condition. How, in this case, to reduce stress and make life more comfortable, said Yulia Zoriy, a practicing psychologist who hosted Ranka near the Great City on ICTV.

Step by step

To begin with, it is important to understand that the process of adaptation in a new country is important. Adaptation is adaptation for the sake of survival. To save yourself, you need to develop an action plan for the period of stay in a new place. So, answer the question: “What can I do now? What effort can I make? What can I do? If you are having a hard time mentally, then think about what could help you discharge faster: physical activity, walking with children, playing or studying with them, reading, cleaning, learning something new. Remember how you maintained your emotional state in peacetime, what was effective for you and your renewal.

To work

When it comes to finding a job, then you also need to consider options, taking into account several factors:

your specialty and work experience;

knowledge of the language, if it is essential;

the presence of children who need to be left with someone;

desire and determination to learn new skills or take on any new job for you.

And with this in mind, you can start searching, for example, through friends who are also in this country. Go to places where Ukrainians meet, where people exchange contacts, they can give advice, suggest who can offer a job. Such meetings will not only expand the circle of acquaintances, but also allow the exchange of personal experience of adaptation in a new place. Moreover, there you can share your emotions, experiences, get support and feel that you are not yourself with your difficulties and anxieties.

You can also think about the format of online employment. A large number of educational platforms and companies have made free access to training in new specialties that are relevant and requested today.

Many European countries provide Ukrainians with the opportunity to attend language courses for free. And this means that you have a chance to gradually learn a new language and make useful acquaintances-contacts that can be useful in the future, and as a bonus will help you get distracted, switch. After all, we remember that any action reduces the strength of emotions, which means that when we do something, we help ourselves to maintain emotional balance.

For the sake of the kids

It is important for adults to learn to take care of themselves for the sake of children. The baby feels the psychological state of the parents very much, so it is important to be balanced and calm. Yes, it is sometimes very difficult, but it is really important. Talk to them, explain the situation to them, listen to their opinion, share. Be the best friend who is believed and trusted. For it is hard for everyone: both adults and children.

Local kindergartens and schools will help to adapt and socialize in a new country. In many countries, they are free for Ukrainians, so this is a good opportunity to entertain children, entertain or continue the educational process.

In your hands

Medyka, 01.04.2022. UchodŸcy z Ukrainy przy polsko-ukraiñskim przejœciu granicznym w Medyce, 1 bm. Spada liczba osób, które w zwi¹zku z dzia³aniami wojennymi Rosji w Ukrainie uciekaj¹ do Polski. (aldg) PAP/Darek Delmanowicz

To maintain your morale, make it a habit to plan your day, or at least a few hours, and stick to it. In addition to the tasks of finding a job, useful meetings, paperwork, etc., include even the usual everyday things in the plan, this will help to partially restore control and reduce the feeling of uncertainty.

And don’t forget about the three basic natural reactions to fear – fight, run, freeze. Why is it important? For only you choose the reaction to a stressful situation. You can “freeze”, waiting for things to somehow get better without your participation, you can “run”, avoiding any action, even important, like looking for a job or applying for financial assistance, or you can “fight” – that is try to adapt to new conditions, actively seek satisfactory options for themselves and their children.

And another important point: do not rush and do not set yourself too high goals. Do what you can here and now. Adapting to a new country is a long, complex process. Be patient and considerate to yourself when something suddenly fails. Complete tasks as they come and be sure to praise yourself for every step that brings you closer to a more comfortable life where you are now.

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